Slow down world, you're spinning too fast

I was flicking down my facebook page yesterday, because:
(a) I am egocentric; and
(b) I had a feeling I had missed some things people had posted on my wall and when people take the time to post, I do like to respond.

I had missed a few posts, but I had a massive WTF moment when I realised that, without intentionally doing so, my last three posts showed how the girls are really grown up now.

The Pixie appointed herself in charge of decorating my office ....

The girls' Christmas bears reading the Nativity story in my office

... including making the window out of random stuff and making a paper mache snowman ....

After he's finished his job at work he is going to live with my colleague's daughter!

Buglet has arrived safely in the Northern Territory to babysit her cousins for a week, before helping my sister bring them all home for Christmas. Her first solo plane trip.

(I don't have a photo of Buglet to share. She's been home for a few weeks, since school finished early for her, and most of the time I have seen her she has been in a crop top and boxers. Not appropriate to post on the internet!).

But Tink ... Tink is ... well .... WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ROLY-POLY THE-WORLD-WILL-DO-THINGS-MY-WAY BABY*?

My Middling One

Tink was one of the speakers at a school presentation night and I was genuinely gobsmacked. She has the makings of a superb public speaker. She wasn't fazed by the technology messing up, and she didn't touch her face or hair once. She is more well presented and confident than I could every hope to be in a life time and I am so incredibly proud!

Just in case I wasn't proud enough of Tink, she also was one of the four nomination for coaches aware for her school soccer program this year. Proud doesn't begin to describe it.

If I can't brag on my blog, where can I brag? And I am totally one proud (if totally freaking out) mama right now.

*if this statement doesn't make sense to you, stay tuned for my next post which should  have been my last post, but isn't because I haven't quite finished yet. If that doesn't make sense, feel some sympathy for my colleagues who have to work with me.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I really should have paid attention when people told me it would all go past in the blink of an eye.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

The same ... but just a little bit different ( aka B2S Part 1)

Monday was back to school day.

Buglet started school in 2003, so you think I should be good at this, it's been 12 years.

But this year was actually quite a lot different.

All three girls are in high school. Turns out having three high school daughters is a lot different from having primary school daughters.

No prepackaged stationary supplies nicely ordered through school (Yes, I did actually achieve this once or twice in their primary school years, but to be fair I did the mad school run at Wooldridges more often than not. Yes, I do know technically you can do this at high school too but I learnt my lesson the hard way with this one. There is a lot of guess work on the high school list and I found Buglet didn't use most of it).

Hair is a big issue.

Not just a standard hair cut though. Buglet very sensibly told a family friend that she really needed straighteners before high school because "you can't go to high school with bad hair" (family friend made sure I was aware of this, Santa also got the message, she picked well).

Anyway, I thought I was well prepared for the hair scenario.

Nope. Hair dye was the thing this year. Tink went red, and the Pixie's is still a shade of blue if you look closely. Buglet went blonde, hated it (me too) and is now back to brown.

Ok so this picture doesn't make it look as dramatic as it sounds, but considering I didn't dye my hair until my mid-20s I wasn't emotionally ready for this.

But wait! There is more.

High on Buglet's back-to-school preparation was having her eyebrows waxed.

Tink made sure she got her promised ear piercing. Belated birthday present from her grandmother because she very sensibly decided not to get it done just before she went to Singapore.

This is not the way things used to be. On the upside, none of the girls wore matching socks. Some things never change.

And just in case you were in any doubt about their grown-up-ness, my domestic goddess moment of making the girls breakfast turned into this:

Buglet: Aren't you going to Bunnings?
Me: No. I am making you breakfast.
Buglet: I will do that. Just be back by 7:45.
Me: You just want me out of the way while you get ready for school.
Buglet: Yep.

My pots were an awesome buy. The bacon sandwiches and banana smoothie were even better because I didn't make them. Definitely winning.

They had a great first day. DB picked them up because I had an after work meeting (Pixie conceded that whilst this wasn't tradition it would do).

No rang me to tell me about their day (I am still a little sulky about this), but when I finally got hold of them I found out that Buglet had made it to dance. Tink was having a nap, and the Pixie didn't get run over by senior students. More information forthcoming when I made it home.

A successful day was had by all. Except possibly me. My heart has just been a little bit broken ....

Oh, and in answer to the most common question. No - I don't feel old. If anything, I feel stupidly young.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• Clearly, I am no longer able to give advice as a primary school parent.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Finishing the chapter ...

... and I've read the last word, signed the last note, stayed at home to do the last drop off and the last pick up, and I am officially no longer a primary school mum.

The Pixie "graduated" from primary school last night, and the final day of school was yesterday.

I don't think I have blogged about graduation yet? Now I am so old, I am losing my memory. The Pixie got English dux for the school. I am so very incredibly proud of her, but before you think that she is grown up enough for high school, I do have to report of the following three incidents that indicate to the contrary.

Incident 1
We went to a presentation night for the high school's academic extension program (which Tink is in, and the Pixie starts next year).

Pixie: Mama! All the smart kids are here!
Me: Ah. You know what the [program] is right?
Pixie: Yes, but all the smart kids are here.

Incident 2
Pixie: Because I was so good at graduation we should get icecream.
Me: You think you should get icecream for being good at your graduation?
Pixie: Yes.

Incident 3
Pixie: No-one reminded me to take my clarinet.
Me: You don't need it. It's the last day of school ... Hang on. Aren't you playing at assembly?
Pixie: No-one reminded me, but I reminded myself. Ah hah!!!

Conclusion
Good luck High School. I am not sure you and the Pixie are ready for each other, but I guess we will see how you go.

Graduation present

Meanwhile I was presented with my own certificate at the final assembly! A total surprise. It was for the support to the school over the years that leaving families had given in the years they were involved in the school. In my case, I think it was totally undeserved. I have never been on the P&C or helped in the canteen or done anything on a regular basis. Although I do help when I can, really it isn't very often. I was doing so well not to cry up until that point.

Notwithstanding the fact I am a fraud, it was such a lovely gesture, and very indicative of the community feeling our school embraces, and very much deserved in some cases. I am grateful every day for the all the work so many parents put into helping all our kids get the most out of their school years.

I feel like I have graduated too! I am pretty sure that now I am the mother of three high school students people should accept the fact I am grown up and take me seriously.

Final ever primary school photo
(she's not mad, just teary)

I am stealing the words I wrote on my facebook page last year when Tink graduated. I can't think of a better way to say how I am feeling at the moment.

Dear Primary School,
What a perfect graduation [x 3 over the years]. In some of the words that Tink spoke so beautifully in the [2013] ceremony: you've seen my babies "from pigtails to straighteners, from colouring in to writing stories, from always being the smallest to being the biggest personality" THANK YOU for helping my girls grow into the amazing people they are today. When we made the decision to keep our girls at this school, it was one of the best parenting decisions we made.
Love,
Mrs G.

... and  the words I wrote to my babies when they had a big sad about me insisting on a last day of school photo under the school sign ...

Dear Buglet, Tink and Pixie,
I don't care how old you are, I will be there for every first and every last, in person or by proxy, cheering you on, laughing at you and crying with you. I am your mother and no-one will ever love you as much as I love you, and no-one will ever have your back like I do. So toughen up and smile for the photo! I will be still doing this when you're at uni (however many times you are there).
Love always and forever, and a little bit more than that,
Mummy xxx

One giant leap ....

NEWSFLASH!!!

My girls are getting big.

This is probably not a shock for anyone else other than me (and most days I realise it, but I've had one of those weeks where it hit home).

Pixie had her high school orientation day. Not only that, when I have her the talk about remembering some kids won't know anyone and making sure that she includes other people she informed me that "A and I have already discussed that. I remember what it was like when I did PEAC and didn't know anyone." Squashed I tell you!

Pixie had a great day, admittedly she had the added bonuses of having two sisters already at the school, and she had spent a morning a week there last year doing an academic extension program. She also made a new friend who is in her TAG (form/homeroom), who didn't know anyone. They've made plans to meet on the first day of next year which is lovely. Hopefully the Pixie won't forget.

This year has been Tink's first year at high school, and she has embraced it whole heartedly (soccer academy of excellence, academic extension program, extra music, student council). Pixie has spent most of the year telling me that she is not going to be like Tink.

There are definitely some sisterly traits though ...

Me: How was your day?
Pixie: I answered lots of stuff. When the teacher asked how did I know so much I told her that I had sisters here. Except when I knew the name of the D&T teacher. I told her Uncle S was a family friend.

My conversation with Tink 12 months ago ....

Tink: When I was in D&T I was the only one who answered any questions. When the teacher asked how I knew what the names of the tools were I told him that my dad was a boilermaker, and that the names were written on the wall.

Look out high school, all three of them will be there next year!

But for the minute ... time can you please hold still? Between Pixie counting down how many days left until the end of primary school, Tink heading off on her first overseas trip, and Buglet telling me how many days until she can get her L's, I need to a few moments to pause to readjust my life view.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

I've got your back

Random story 1: A little while ago I posted this on facebook:

Dear Buglet, Tink and Pixie
I don't care how old you are, I will be there for every first and every last, in person or by proxy, cheering you on, laughing at you and crying with you. I am your mother and no-one will ever love you as much as I love you, and no-one will ever have your back like I do. So toughen up and smile for the photo! I will still be doing this when you're at uni (however many times you are there).
Love,
Mummy xxx

I wanted a picture on the last day of school, especially as it was Tink's last day of primary school, and I was going to get it! Similar arguments occurred on the first day of this year. You think they would learn.



Back to school picture ..........get it?!
 

Just in case you care, Pixie's bag lights up if you hit it. This makes me so incredibly happy.

Random story 2: I was trying to explain the meaning of the word "sacrifice" to the girls in a non-actually-killing-something-or-someone way. Pixie, being a ethical vegetarian, was not particularly happy when her sisters pointed out sacrificing didn't mean killing a person, sometimes it meant killing an animal.

I can't remember how it came up. I think one of them had read the term in a book.

My explanation did not go quite according to plan either. I was trying to explain that sacrifice can mean giving up something for someone else.

Me: Like some people might say I sacrificed family time and being home with you three for my career.
Insert chorus of angry protests from the Entourage.
Buglet *angrily*: Who said that?!
Me: No-one said that! It was an example.

I try again.

Me: Or to put it the other way, some people might say I sacrificed my career by working part-time so I could be home with you three when you were little.
Insert chorus of angry protests from the Entourage.
Me: No-one actually said that either! But I am glad you guys think I am doing a good job.

The bit where I link in these two random stories: We did get there eventually, but it is nice to know they have my back too.I must being teaching them something .... right?!

In a world where it is easy to let down the people you care about the most, either on deliberately or carelessly, I am just so glad that they realise they are my number one priority (97.5% of the time). I just hope that I am never the one that lets them down.

Attempt at a meaningful conclusion: One of my most favourite facebook memes that goes around says: "One day someone will come along and hug you so hard that all your broken bits will be stuck back together". I hope no-one ever breaks them, but if they do, I hope they know that someone will fix them.

As for me, I am so, so, so thankful for the friends who have been there to put me back together.

Random real conclusion: Aren't you all glad we talk in the car? I feel this blog would be a lot less "philosophical" without our car conversations. Some days I think we should stick to singing though. My brain isn't always up to parenting explanations after a day of work.

And now I need to go. Pixie has just come running in to ask do I think Flip-Flop has an opinion. I am not sure on what, but my current opinion is that the Pixie should be a sleeping Pixie and that I need to attack the pile of washing I left last night.

Oh Mama! Did I tell you about my refugee?

For those of you who missed the facebook post, it went like this:

I don't normally drive the girls to school. This is possibly the reason why. I  had  been attempting to get information out of the Pixie about her school disco.

Me *sigh*: Oh Pixie.
Pixie: You always say "sigh, oh Pixie"! Why is it never, "sigh, oh Buglet", or "sigh, oh Tink", it is always "sigh, oh Pixie"
*continues on like this for a while.
Buglet: Sush Pixie.
Pixie: Mama! That's what she says... to me on the bus too! Even when I am not being naughty, but I am just talking and telling her about stuff and or just talking.
Me: Talking or waffling?
Pixie: Just waffling. I don't really make much sense.
Me *sigh*: Oh, Pixie.
Pixie: Mama! You said it again *pauses mid-rant* Oooh! I didn't tell you about my refugee!
Me: You have a refugee?!

 

First things first. I did manage to eventually find out about the disco. The Pixie went and it may be her last primary school disco (sad mama moment) and a wonderful time, ate too much fairy floss, and wore something entirely unsuitable for cold rainy weather. I have a horrible feeling I may be saying similar things about her well into her twenties. In my defence, I  told her to pack suitable clothes and the friend's mum who had her after school and dropped her at the disco tried to make her borrow a jacket. [In case you were wondering what the rest of us were doing, I took the big two to the movies to see an un-Pixie suitable movie and it was great! The movie, not the no Pixie bit].

Parenting tip of the day: Sometimes you just need to let them make their own mistakes (tell yourself this if for no other reason than to stop a tiny part of mother guilt).

  

Ok, second point. I would like say that upon further investigation, Pixie does not have her own personal refugee nor is she in the process of acquiring one. Their school had someone from the Red Cross come in and tell them about refugees and the horrors of war.

 

"My refugee" actually meant a refugee who came in to tell the school about his experience. Pixie recounted the reasons why he left and the dangers he faced and about his time in a detention centre in Australia. She told me in no uncertain terms that "there is no such thing as illegal immigrants"(in terms of refugees) when I was very clumsily trying to find out if he was a "boat person" (very proud mama moment).

 

Pixie told me about the game they played. They had to list just six things to take, and just five people they could take with them on eleven separate pieces of card. Then bit by bit stuff got lost or damaged or had to be left behind.

 

"Mama, I took you and Daddy and Buglet and Tink and FlipFlop and Misty [the rabbit], but then I got to a border and I only had four passports so I had to leave FlipFlop and Misty behind. It was only a game but I was so sad".

 

Today I am thankful for my daughters' compassion, I am thankful for the refugee who took his time to share his story, I am thankful for the Red Cross and other humanitarian organisations, and I am very thankful that my girls attend(ed) a school that goes the extra step to teach my children about things that will make the world a better place.