Time together and time apart

School went back today.

These school holidays went from one extreme to another.

We spent the first weekend of school holidays heading south. Firstly to Bridgetown to visit the lovely Lela and my God-children, and to attend the Winter Wonderland.

Pixie on a log
We went for an early morning walk to tire her out before the drive.

There is a saying, "friends are the family you choose for yourself" and I love this part of my family. I love that our children love hanging out together, even though half of them are teenagers. I love that this is a friend I can discuss anything with. I love that we have so much fun planning for adventures that are just us as as adults, as well as our lives as parents.

Our babies are getting big though. I realised I have hit a new stage of my life when I realise I was being addressed as "Auntie" by a person a good head taller than me and with a man's voice. I should note here that I am still taller than my girls and than all my sisters, and my brother wasn't quite 14 when he died so this is a new experience for me!

Lela and I had discussed going to the pub for a quiet drink after the family festival was over. We both discussed with our eldest children if they would mind babysitting the little ones for an hour. Not only was everyone agreeable we were strongly encouraged to go out; they had plans for at home that didn't include us. Don't worry, the children were responsible - we were told "be home before midnight and don't bring home any boys". Yes. Seriously. (Don't blame Lela's parenting, that was one of my girls!).

We ended up deciding a pyjama party in Lela's room would be more fun and that way we didn't have to worry about curfews.

Tink, Nanna, and Pixie at Augusta

The next day the girls and went to Augusta to spend time with the girls' great-grandparents (DB's grandparents). I haven't been down in a very long time, and I am so, so glad we went. The time spent with them is very precious.

We taught Nanna how to play a new card game, I was given a massive pile of books, and Pixie and Nanna informed me that it was tradition for her to buy them scratchies. Pixie won $106 so I can't see me winning the argument about vetoing this tradition any time soon!

After that, the girls spent 4 nights at a church camp (which coincidentally was at a Scout campsite were DB basically spent his formative years, and which is one of my most favourite places ever), they then spent two nights at J's, followed by a the rest of the school holidays all over the place at sleepovers, with DB, and the odd one or two nights at home.

Lutheran Youth at the Scout Campsite
When your worlds collide

It felt like so long since I have seen them ... this is the conversation the Pixie and I had last night in an evening cuddle .....

"Did you miss me or just your puppy?"
"60 40"
"Aww ... hang on ..... Am I the 60 or the 40?
"The 40. That's still pretty good .... and I missed the Sisters 11 percent"
"You know that doesn't add up to 100?"
"Who said it has to add up to 100? It is adding up to 111?"
"What about the kitten?"
stressed silence
"Or is she one of the Sisters?"
"She is one of the Sisters .... wait ... that's mean .... I missed my puppy 60%, you 30%, the Cattern 7%, and the Sisters 3%."

Dancers in the nightclub window
(Not me) It was very cool.

It got to the point where one friend asked if I had sold them because I had had so much childfree time. I am pretty sure I have been out more in the last 10 days than I have in the last 10 months. Friday night I was so tired that Buglet took one look at me, told me she would sort herself out for dinner (the other two were out), and sent me to bed. I slept for 12 hours. Maybe I am not cut out to be a party animal?

My guard puppy.
Pixie: I took a photo, Mama, cos you two were just so cute

The bonus of this is that it means I have been missing them. This is convenient considering we are about to spend a week, just the four of us, on our first overseas family holiday. 4.5 sleeps to go! (Ok, technically it is 5, but I am working on the theory that we won't sleep much Saturday night so that makes it half a night).

PS there should have been a lot more photos with this post, but I have cleverly managed to break my phone. If you want to see more, check us out on Instagram.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I would not take maths advice from the Pixie.
• We probably shouldn't be trusted with breakable things.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

The important things

The Month of Visiting Country People has begun! Maybe a little late, but it has begun. Last weekend I headed out to visit my very pregnant primary school BFF solo. (The girls had gone camping with DB). That was the first of four weekends when I am heading down country roads.

Holidaying can be expensive. I was trying to teach the girls the cost of life ...

Me: I hope none of you have any major expenses this moth. Between four new tyres on Paris, and paying for the hotel for Bali, I am feeling pretty broke.
Pixie *sternly to her sisters*: And she's had to buy me birthday presents.

See! I didn't forget!

You have to love a very subtle reminder that her birthday is up there on the important things that need to be included in the budget!

I had to laugh though. Pixie requested stuff for her bedroom. She had given me some suggestions after we went to Ikea a few weeks ago. She especially wanted "coke hangers". She specifically mentioned that it would be a good present for me to get her. How could you refuse a request like that? She was so excited. She insisted that her "coke hangers" be included in a picture!

(Pixie absolutely refuses to call them anything other that "coke hangers". Even now. I have given up on that fight.)

"Mummy! My coke hangers!"

Yesterday Pixie turned 12. I had been mentally preparing for another big party. Pixie had previously said she wanted to have her big "teenager" party this year, but she has since decided to wait until next year when she turns 13. After having Buglet's 16th a few weeks ago, I have to admit I won't be sorry to wait another year. I want them all to feel that their big events are special in their own right. I do try very hard to make sure they all feel they are their own separate individuals as well as being part of a family, especially since they are so close in age.

Part of this decision, included a last minute request to have her squad (the new word for group of people you hang out with at school, apparently, do you feel like you've learnt something new today), sleepover. This felt reasonable. To have the sleepover, Pixie also said that she would work super hard getting the house nice and clean. this also felt reasonable.

Wednesday ended up being a bitch of a day a work. There is no other way to describe it. I am pretty lucky with my job. I do work long days, and some days I work super long days, but I work in an area of law where it is unusual for to unexpectedly need to be in the office until awful hours of the night. Wednesday ended up being one of those days. Luckily KK picked up the girls for Guides, Apple drove them home, and Team Awesome Guide Leaders said they could manage without me (it was lovely of them to imply that they could cope rather than pointing out that they don't really need me, which is the actual case). I got home at 11pm to a sleepy Pixie who made me promise to wake her up at 5am on Thursday so she could finish cleaning.

Late night work supper. My colleagues are awesome.

I woke up at 5am to help clean. And then my darling child asked me if I was just procrastinating when we went on an early morning drive to get bread! I did point out that while I am brilliant at procrastinating, I do not get up at 5am to clean and then procrastinate. Turns out she just thought of the word. Seriously! Children these days!

It was worth it though. Pixie had a lovely sleepover last night.

Luckily the cleaning was done early. All three of her friends ended up arriving before I got home from work. I had said drop off at 6.30pm if they wanted me to be there, but turned out all the parents were fine with me not being home for the first bit. I walked into a house with music rocking and a cry of "I can't believe you have a stripper pole! You are so cool! I like you already!".

Did I mention I hadn't met one of Pixie's friends before? And that her older sister is friends with Tink, so she came for a sleepover too? Pixie has learnt something from her sisters; if you let them have their own friend they will leave your celebrations alone! Hopefully they will mention the law degree along with the stripper pole or they may never be allowed to sleepover again.

Just for the record, I don't call it a stripper pole. Just a dance pole. And the girls know I do pole dancing because I am too uncoordinated for real dancing. I like to have something to hang on to so I don't fall over.

Happy Birthday Pixie!
(The garden fairies from across the road put on the candles)

Today we are heading on our next country adventure. We are driving up to Boddington to have dinner with DB for the Pixie's birthday.

I asked the Pixie if she would like to go up to have dinner with Daddy on her birthday weekend. Her response: "I think he should like that. I get to pick where we have dinner though. Out of the two  places".

We are planning on doing an alphabet photo scavenger hunt on the way. Check out #alphabetadventures and #krisangels  on Twitter or Instagram if you want to see our pictures!

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I have nothing against strippers, but not sure if it the girls' friends' parents would be thrilled b the image.
• I have no idea how I raised children who want coat hangers as birthday presents.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

One down. Eleven to go.

One down. Eleven to go.

Put like that it sounds a little daunting. It was just yesterday they were all finishing primary school.

Buglet just finished her mid-year 11 exams. Three more semesters to go and then she has finished high school. That is followed by four semesters of upper school for Tink, and then four semesters for Pixie. Beginning of the end? (I will cross post-secondary stressors later, I need to get the first one through high school first).

In case you were wondering, she seems to have survived.

The biggest issue has been from people other than Buglet. She's been a little stressed, but you would expect that. And our normal schedule has been a little out of whack, but once again you expect that.

What did surprise me was how I reacted to Buglet's exams.

I am an awful student. I do genuinely love knowing stuff, but I have some how managed to survive high school and multiple degrees without ever really learning how to study. I do the readings (mostly). I go to lectures (pretty much always, I am petrified of missing out on exam or assignment tips*). But somehow I never managed to learn how to make notes, how to review, how to do all those things which help you to actually study. People don't believe me, but it is true! I managed to survive based on natural ability, good luck, and learning to live with the fact that my grades are not really a true indication of my ability. Mostly I credit good luck.

*Incidentally also the reason I rocked up to the last class of semester with a 6 day old Buglet.

The girls' school is amazing and their attention to the career pathway process, beginning in Year 10, was better than I could ever have dreamed. Buglet hasn't had the easiest time transitioning into some parts of Year 11. She has struggled a little with some of the ATAR (university pathway) subjects, and it upset me that I didn't have the tools to help her.

She got some help from Apple, some from her teachers, and some from DB. Buglet is pretty happy to have finished her exams and says she is pretty sure she passed. Just have to wait now!

DB spent a day sitting with Buglet and helping her prepare for her final study. He helped her timetable and organise her study time, and helped her go through her notes. This bothered me, and I hate that it bothered me. Don't get me wrong, I am so, so glad that he did.

But, the irrational part of me had a few things to process ...
... guilt, I should have found the time to do that.
... frustration, I manage to do the every day stuff, and he swans in at the last minute.
... annoyance, is this is a criticism of me for not having looked after her better?
... guilt, study is supposed to be my thing. I do the learning stuff, he does the practical stuff.

Unreasonable? Yes! Absolutely! He is her dad, and he helped out, and did a much better job than I could have. And I promise that there is no resentment! Just the never-ending battle of mother-guilt, and the unavoidable frustrations of co-parenting with an ex. (Let me repeat here, the issue is definitely me in this instance! I didn't say anything to him except "thank you very much, you made a big difference" 'cos he did. Unless he reads this blog in which case my cover is blown#).

#DB: Just remember, baby, you told me to write a blog. And I mean it, the crap feelings are all about me. You did an awesome job helping Buglet. Go Team!

The other thing that I wasn't expecting was tantrums from Pixie.

The girls have watched me study for years. They know the importance of study food. For me study food usually consists of Pepsi Max, chocolate and cheezels or chicken twisties. I have promised them that when they sit exams I will not only provide them with study food (the Pixie's main concern) but also I will be there to cook, make coffee, and replenish empty Pepsi Max glasses. I would not have got through the last two years of study without Buglet's taking over most of the cooking, and Tink seemingly to fill my glass before I'd realised it was empty.

I should also say, that because I am a responsible parent, study food is reserved for exam study (and in my case last minute assignment writing, but the girls are much better than I am at not doing this).

Study food survival kit; given to me by a friend to help me survive the last weeks

I dropped the little to off to school on Buglet's first day of exam week. She was home study. I endured a lecture from Pixie because I hadn't provided Buglet  with appropriate study rations. I promised her I would text DB and request that he rectify the situation at some point, which I did do and he rose to the occasion.

That night there were major dramas because Buglet didn't share her study food. I am now suspecting that the Pixie's concern attend to my duties in supporting Buglet may have been partially motivated by the hope that she would get some too.

Pixie was most indignant because is "studying too". There was much soothing of the moral upset, and validation of feelings. This was all balanced with the not-so-subtle reminder that not everything is about her, and reminding her they all get special stuff at different times depending on what they have going on in their lives. It is a hard life being the youngest (and being totally spoilt).

To end on a happy note, it's taken me a few days to write this post, so since I started Buglet has found out she passed one of her exams! Yay! I am so, so happy! Just waiting to hear about the other two now!


Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not qualified to give study advice.
• I am not qualified to give nutritional advice.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any type.

Behind the glitz and glamour

So last weekend was a bit of a mix and match weekend.

Thursday night I took the girls to see Midsummer Night's Dream.  It was performed at a high school and it was brilliant! I thoroughly enjoyed it. They used a hexagonal stage so they were performing to five different angles which gave an extra depth from an audience point of view as well as making the performance very intimate, but I imagine made it a little harder from an actor's point of view.

I love cupcakes!

Plus they were serving high tea style food. I had a cupcake. I do love cupcakes.

Then Pixie was sick Friday. Pixie only gets sick once or twice a year, but when she does she is grumpy, tantrumy, miserable and needs lots of cuddles. I managed to work from home for half a day, but I admit the extra sleeping time for me because "I need you to cuddle me and I will cuddle my puppy" was a lovely bonus. You have to find a silver lining even to sickaling babies.

Friday night and Saturday I took Tink camping. I was helping to QM (cook) at a Guide leader training camp. (Apple very nicely kept the other two, even the sickaling one).

I love camping. The stillness, the time-out, the running away from technology, the campfire - it all soothes my soul.

Sitting around a campfire is one of my favourite places to be.

Luckily there was some soul soothing.

Sunday was a showcase performance for dancing. In case you are wondering, our dance school used the term 'showcase' rather than concert because it was a short concert, no costumes, and was a chance for the dancers to show friends and family what they have learnt in term one this year.

(The "no costume" bit was the important part of that last sentence that I would like you to remember for later).

Dance hair. Note the different colours? Much easier to tell them apart now.

I was helping back stage. By "helping" I mean I was in charge of lining everyone up to get on stage, checking shoes, attempting to keep them quiet, bossing around the lovely adult dancers who were helping me and the other mum helper, and dealing with random small children who may or may not know their own name.

No costumes meant less adults needed backstage just in case you were wondering where everyone else was; it was great that most of the parents were able to watch this concert.

In case anyone else finds themselves in this position, I thought I would give you some helpful tips:

1. Take an emergency kit (ie bandaids, needle and thread, bobby pins, hair ties).
2. Learn to sew so you can use the needle and thread for emergency costume repairs (or find out who backstage can sew).
3. Take needle and thread out of your bag after the concert (otherwise you may prick yourself and bleed everywhere at an inopportune moment).
4. Hair ties are amazingly useful for shortening leotard straps to avoid "flashing".
5. Small children may not know their own name.
6. Small children may not know what class they are in or who they are in that class with.
7. It is highly likely most of the small children will not know the name of the song.
8. After making realisations 5 to 6 you will be cursing the lack of costumes. When they are dressed the same they are easy to match (like dominos).
9. It is helpful to have street cred when working with small children ("Guess what?! I am Miss Buglet's mummy" works wonders for me).
10. Find the one small child who actually will talk to you and knows people's names to be your sidekick. Chances are they will be right.
11. It is possible to organise large numbers of children while carrying a crying toddler on your hip. 
12. Be confident when you give directions. Children smell fear and indecision.
13. Know your dance teacher so you know what goes. I know I can tell kids "I promise your hair/shoes/costume/makeup will be ok, the main thing is to smile and have fun", because I know that is the ethos of the school.
14. Take a pen. Make notes.
15. Double check the list before so you know what is going on.
16. Check to see how sound proof the room is. This time I hadn't realised how little soundproofing was between the room we were in and the audience.
17. Clapping a rhythm is a good way to silence the room (if you haven't seen this done, basically you clap a rhythm and they clap it back. Lots of teachers use it, we don't use it a Guides because we have a not-so-secret be quiet signal).
18. Glitter is awesome, but check your commitments for the next week before applying liberally. 
19. Enjoy the moment to be part of the team. These sort of events don't happen without all the cast and crew. 

Job done for another few months! Now back to cruisey dance nights of knitting, reading and writing.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not qualified to give dance advice, or theatre advice of any type.
• I am not qualified to give professional advice.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Remote control

No this isn't actually a post about the TV.

Although on a slightly related note, the girls went with DB to visit their great-grandparents for the long weekend, and the TV remote went missing. No children and lack of ability to work the TV was a little sad. Turns out someone put it in the living area nowhere near the TV and in a location I had no cause to go over the weekend. Commonly agreed theory was that it was the Pixie.

Anyway, the subject of today's post is actually for me to touch base about the greater than usual chaos of the last few weeks. For various reasons I have been in the office for insane hours, and still working from home (or dance or Guides!) some nights. This is a temporary situation, but it has meant that I haven't seen much of my children.

Plus they have spent two weekends away. The TV-remoteless weekend, and then last weekend the little two went to a Guide camp.

This has made it hard to blog about them.

It has lead to a couple of delightful conversations though.

Buglet sent me to bed after I was trying to check in and make sure everything was ok in her universe.

Pixie asking if I was going to crash the car because I was so tired (I wasn't that tired). Pixie telling me I needed to call in sick to work so I could sleep.

Tink being very surprised because I was leaving work "early". It was 5.40pm. I officially finish work at 5pm. I think this says something.

The girls don't appear to be feeling abandoned though. Attempts to check in and make sure they are feeling loved has just been met with confusion. Their confusion, not mine. My confusion has usually resulted from talking to the Pixie, but that is just life.

The timing of the girls going away weekends has been perfect. It's meant I can work and sleep without feeling guilty. Massive thanks to Apple for her help in filling some parenting gaps which has made the world of difference.  DB has done some extra running around which has helped too.

But anyway. That was just the background. I thought I would share some useful career advice in case the girls ever decide to combine being a parent with their career. I had to go and speak at a seminar, and here are some useful tips that I learnt that I don't think you will find in conventional public speaking guides:

1. Be good friends with your neighbours. It makes it  lot less weird when you need to run across the road and ask them to zip you up.
2. Have an emergency brush hidden away. Teenage children steal brushes and hide them away. Pulling bits of plastic from your hair due to using broken brush while driving is not good for your nerves.
3. Do NOT pull at loose threads. You may unravel your hem. Sticky tape and/or staplers can be used in an emergency.
4. Eat lunch. Don't forget. Public speaking is nerve-wracking enough without forgetting to eat and then being shaky due to lack of food.
5. Sleep. Sleep is good.
6. Having your hair done a week before you need to go and look important is a massive bonus.
7. Treat your colleagues with respect. Life is much easier when you work as part of an amazing team. My presentation would have run smoothly without the assistance of a well written list of reminders (not written by me) that included things like "clean jacket", "take pens", and a copy of directions.

Legally Blonde

This is also a look of relief after having survived the seminar, and the week. After I drove home I slept for two hours!

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not qualified to give advice on public speaking.
• I am not qualified to give sewing or 
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Mama days

For those of you who read my last post, after having a couple of days off Buglet is much improved. She is back at dance (and I am sitting here as I write) however is she marking steps this week and being super careful (monitoring her is not actually the reason I am here, but it is an added bonus).

But you know how sometimes it turns out things just work out best in hindsight? Well, while I would much rather that Buglet did not hurt herself, but since she did pick a good night.

I had been told to take my RDO the next day (I have a bad habit of being too busy to take them), so the very little sleep did not make as much difference as it could have.

(I should mention here that I also had a hair appointment booked it so I didn't spend much time with my broken child, but it still worked out better for me).

My RDO also came in very handy as I ended up making tutus for the Pixie's team for the swimming carnival. That would have been much harder after a full day's work on no sleep.

Pixie in her tutu

I would like to say that, for once, the last minute sewing was not my fault. Originally Tink had requested the tutus, and Tink reported back that I had been declared the coolest mum for knowing how to make them.

Then the boys in her team chickened out at the last minute.

Pixie very politely asked Tink if she would mind if Pixie's team used their idea.

Tink very politely said sure.

So I made five tutus in rainbow colours and I am happy to say they were a hit!

Pixie wearing a teams worth of tutus.

Tink's teammates commented on how cool the tutus were. This is before they realised that the Pixie is Tink's sister. Tink told me she pointed out that they could have been the ones with the tutus. I suspect that I will have a request for another batch of tutus for next year.

I am currently basking in the fact I was a hit in the high school circles. This doesn't happen much with teenagers.

Tip of the day: Tulle is really rough and making mass amounts of tutus may hurt your fingers. My hands must have gotten soft since last time I did this.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not qualified to give sewing advice.
• Despite current popular opinion, I am not qualified to give advice on what is currently "cool".
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Doctor! Doctor!

I have totally jinxed myself!

Just as a quick re-cap I recently blogged about my way-too-often-broken babies a week or two ago, and that was the first visit to a doctor or hospital for ages.

And now we are back to semi-normal.

Last weekend the Pixie was trodden on by a horse. Just in case anyone is worried, the horse is fine. So is Pixie. The girls have grown up around their grandfather's trotting horses so, to be honest, I am surprised that they have not been trodden on before.

In the stables.

The sad bit is that my first thought at the doctors' surgery was "Wow! We haven't been here for ages", followed by "fond" memories of the hours of study I did in those chairs when we were going through a particularly bad run.

I also thought about how lucky we have been with some of the random medical professionals we have met who could have been hand-picked for our needs:

• A doctor who had a son who had randomly chosen to be vegetarian at the same age Pixie did when we went to get her iron checked;
• A physio who had trained in ballet at the WA Academy of Performing Arts when Buglet hurt her ankle; and
• A nurse who had fractured her tailbone falling off slide when Buglet was in hospital for her knee, but was having problems sitting due to previous injuries.

This week's effort was a doctor who's daughter sets the high school exams for ballet. He totally got why I wanted an all clear before letting Pixie go back to pointe class. 

Sometimes you just meet the right people at the right time.

However, I should not have spoken too soon! Tuesday night I got a phone call to get Buglet from dancing as she had hurt her foot ... back to the hospital. 

Pixie is particularly unhelpful when she is trying to be helpful sometimes. Her very supportive comments included:

(Brightly) At least you didn't damage a perfectly good ankle.

(Confused) Are we taking her* too? (Ah yes! Considering *Buglet was the reason I was there, and the reason we were leaving early).

(Helpfully) Would you like me to stroke her? Mama! I can't reach her! Sorry, Buglet I can't stroke you. Buglet was crying at this point, and some of her words included strong indications that being stroked by the Pixie would be particularly unhelpful.

Fortunately it was just a bad sprain, and Buglet will be ok, and Pixie was right about one thing, it is a good thing that it was already damaged foot. 

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I should clearly not be allowed to give safety advice.
• I am most definitely not allowed to give medical advice*.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

*I do sometimes prescribe chocolate though. Accept this advice at your own risk.

Who is where Wednesday? (aka Part 3 of 'This is How I do it')

Wednesday is my super long day. Same as the other days I leave the house by 6.30am (well this is the plan), but on Wednesdays I don't get home until almost 10pm.

The fabulous Apple picks up the girls from school and gets dinner ready for all of us. I pick up the girls and Apple after work and we go straight from there to Guides.

I whinge every week that Wednesdays are too long, and it is too hard in the middle of week. I have never been able to think of an alternative though.

Despite the complaining, one of my regular happy moments is when I get changed from my work clothes into my Guide clothes. When I am not running super late, I love that we have time to have a picnic and catch up with my co-leaders. I love watching my three do weird acrobatics against the wall while we are gasbagging. I love watching the other Guides go and join in. I have no idea why they do this but it is funny to watch. Plus I always sleep really well on a Wednesday night.

We do have a theory that the first thing we do at Guides should be a running around game to calm down the girls and wake me up. Sometimes this happens. Sometimes it even works.

Tired Guide-leader-Mama me
(and a do-you-remember-these-shirts selfie for some former Guide committee friends).

This week karma bites back! It serves me right for complaining about Wednesdays so much. Just in case they weren't long enough, this week has seen us triple booked.

• Buglet has her (school) year 10 river cruise from 7pm to 10pm.
• Tink has her soccer awards dinner (same school!) from 6pm to 9pm.
• Guides is from 7pm to 9pm, and I am the only qualified leader in our unit at the moment.
• Pixie exists and it is bad form to abandon her.

Team Village to the rescue! The purpose of the post is so that I can write it all down and attempt to make sure I know who is where when. My darling, super-organised daughters have sorted so much of it out themselves that I am feeling a bit flustered.

Wish me luck .... and here goes ...

Buglet is being picked up from school by Mrs Bee who is also doing her hair. Then  she is going across the road to get her make-up done. Apple is dropping Buglet off at a friend's house to go the cruise. I am picking her up from the cruise.

Tink is catching the bus home from school. She is getting herself ready for the soccer dinner. We both go to the soccer awards dinner before I pick up Buglet.

Apple is picking Pixie up. She is taking the Pixie to Guides, and is keeping her for the night. Marsh is going to my Guides tonight to be the qualified leader.

Simple? Sorted? I hope so.

I need to:

• Remember to leave work early;
• Give Apple the Guide hall keys;
• Find the address Buglet put in my purse;
• Not get lost; and
• Find appropriate clothes for an awards dinner.

I will let you know later how well the plan worked.

Disclaimer:

• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am definitely not qualified to give organisation advice.
• My map-reading skills are suspect.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Good Mama, Bad Mama

The last week has been full of highs and low. I know this is true for every week, but this week has felt a bit more see-sawy than others. To give myself perspective I have decided to write a list of my good Mama and not-so-good Mama moments.

I may also have been inspired by similar type posts on other blogs.

Good Mama Moment (GMM): Pixie packing for camp all by herself.

Not-So-Good Mama Moment (NSGM): Having the horrible realisation that I hadn't sent any spending money with her. In my defence, she wouldn't show me the kit list. (Thanks Apple for telling me to toughen up over this one. You were right; she was fine).

GMM: Planning time to make Pixie feel special for coming home from camp, and at the same time not overshadowing Tink's birthday.

GMM: Finishing work on time on agenda day (this is impressive) so I was at the train station on time to pick up Pixie.

GMM: Dinner with DB, because family birthday time is important. Bonus points for there being very little fighting with one over-excited birthday girl, one over-tired baby home from camp, one grouchy teenager, and one grumpy ex-husband coming off night shift.

Amusing themselves at dinner.

NSGM: Being told off by Pixie for colouring in her picture. I picked the wrong colour.

NSGM: Posting a mushy status update: All my girls are home safely with me (big two tucked up in bed, the little one curled up asleep next to me). My puppy is snoring on her couch. I am in my pyjamas with a glass of red wine and a good book. Life is good. Then realising that Buglet had said good night to me twice and that Tink was actually across the road getting her hair cut.

GMM: Being a super awesome backstage ninja.

NSGM: Deciding the puppy was my favourite child because she doesn't fight.

NSGM: Tink broke herself and I sent her to Apple because I was busy helping someone else. (I did take her to x-ray later that night and she is all good).

NSGM: Totally forgetting to buy the girls' confirmation presents even though I knew exactly what I wanted. (My sister came to the rescue and bought it for me because I was at rehearsals all day Saturday. She is totally awesome).

TBMM (aka Total Bragging Mama Moment): Being so super proud of my girls at confirmation.

BAM (aka Bad Auntie Moment): Scratching my youngest nephew's ear when I was cuddling him in church, and making him bleed.

GMM: Sharing the babies nicely with everyone else at the celebration lunch.

GMM: Taking the little two to the movies so Buglet could study.

GMM: Dropping the girls off at school on Monday because Buglet had exams and there were thunderstorms.

GMM: Remembering to buy Buglet study food (I had promised the Pixie that when she had exams I would buy her "study food" and I figured this would apply to the others too).

NSGM: Not realising that Buglet doesn't eat cheezles. To me these are the ultimate study food. How I have a daughter who doesn't eat them I don't know.

NSGM: This status update: Snuggled up in bed, just about to go to sleep when I realise that the Pixie is still wandering around. If I was a better mother I would get up and find out why (instead of posting here so I remember to find out later). I never bothered finding out.

NSGM: Leaving Tink at home sick.

NSGM: Bribing Pixie with a McDonald's hashbrown so she wouldn't have a tantrum about being dropped off at school early.

NSGM: Telling Pixie not to tell her sisters that I bribed her with a hashbrown.

GMM: Delegating parenting stuff to DB (and Apple). Parenting is a team effort.

I am pretty sure I have balanced it out overall. You have to take the good with the bad! Keeping it real peoples. You can't be perfect all the time.

Disclaimer:

• Do not attempt a similar post unless you are sure it will work out to be an overall positive. You do not want to end up feeling worse about yourself.
• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

It be 10 yearrrrrs

10 years tomorrow since I started work at my current place of employment.

I was 24, and just about to finish Honours. The girls were 5, almost 4, and 15 months old.

The very idea of being in one place for 10 years was beyond foreign.

Today we celebrated! Three of us started on the same day 10 years ago. We had morning tea and, because it is also International Talk Like a Pirate Day, we dressed like Pirates. (As a side note, I am going to a Pirate Bar tonight and I am so super excited).

Disclaimer: The rest of the post is fairly boring and documents my career pathway in fairly vague terms. Just so it is on the official life record now I am blogging. I do not blame any of you for stopping reading now, but for those of you who say "I don't know how you do it", well this answers part of that!



Apparently when you are as "old" as me your desk is full of cobwebs!
(The one day I arrive at the office "late").

Ten years ago Tink was quite chirpy about me going to work, but she was very confused about a place where they were never going to go. She knew that Guides was sometimes just for Mummy, and sometimes they went. Sometimes it was "fun" Guides. Sometimes it was "adult" Guides where they had to sit and colour in while Mummy was at a meeting. She knew that sometimes they went to uni, and sometimes they didn't. It is hard to believe that they are now at the point where they can catch the train to see me and wonder in!

I was smugly pointing out to all the doubters that I had not only found a job, it related to my area of study (well one of them, but I had never really expected to find something that used my History studies specifically), and it was part-time.

I am in my fourth role since I originally started. 10 years ago I started three days a week in a part-time job share admin role. Within 2 months the (then) big boss was talking about me going back to study. Meanwhile in the exhaustion of post Honours and beginning work I laughed at her.

Within 4 months I had changed my hours slightly so that I could take the girls to school three out of five days, so I could do puzzles with Tink three mornings. I made sure I could do this until the Pixie finished Pre-Primary.

Within 8 months I had increased my hours to suit work, but I balanced the around the girls.

Within 2 years I was bored. I decided to go back to uni because I loved my colleagues and I enjoyed my work but needed a bit more of a challenge once the girls were all sleeping through the night. Plus, to be honest, it never really occurred to me I would get into Law so I thought it would take me a  bit longer to find something to do. (Yes, this time the big boss laughed at me.)

3ish years and a position change, followed by another one at 5ish years which evolved into my current role.

Once the Pixie was in year 1, I made sure I worked all mornings (unless it was a uni day) so I could be home 4 afternoons a week after school with the girls. Yep, it was still part-time. But I did 0.8FTE over five days so I could do it (Yay for night classes). I still think this was a great decision. Mornings are not quality time in our house, but I treasured those afternoons with the girls and the opportunity to know that I was getting the best of both worlds (also the worst if you want to look at the amount of time available to do housework, luckily being domestic is really not my thing).

Work let me change my official work hours every semester around uni and the girls for the next six years. I went full time when it got to the point my role needed me to increase my hours. At this point the girls' only concerns was that they wouldn't have to miss any dancing/soccer/Guides.

For about three years I purchased leave so I could spend the majority of the school holidays at home with the girls.

Why I have I been here for 10 years? I think the above describes it pretty well. Plus I have awesome colleagues, who tolerate my insane life and my even crazier children. Also, it would take me way to long to clean my desk. And I have colleagues who will dress up as pirates, and celebrate any occasion going. Did I mention awesome colleagues?

There is an old saying "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life" (Confucius), and I would like to say that it is true! If I can teach the girls this, I will feel I have accomplished something as a parent. I don't care what they do: doctor, firefighter, stay-at-home mum, gardener, rock star, but I will be very grumpy if they turn into one of those people who sit around and complain about their life without doing anything about it.

Meanwhile, while I am celebrating how much I love my job and that I am not studying .... I really need to do something about the domestic side of my life. I don't hate it enough yet to go back to study to have an excuse.

Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day Everyone! xx

Positively Negative or Negatively Positive (aka Part 2 of 'This is how I do it')

Or the alternative title could have been the "Trials of Tuesday". If you read Part 1 of 'This is how I do it'. You have a pretty good idea of how a general day works.

Tuesdays are a bit special though. They are my "play each week by ear" day. Tink has soccer training at 5.30pm and I don't have a regular babysitter to take her on Tuesdays. Some weeks she has a game after school. Some weeks it is cancelled due to rain. Some weeks she goes to a friend's house. Some weeks Apple takes her. As I said, I play each week as it comes.

One of the other options is that Tink and Pixie catch the train to me at work. I drive to work those days, then drop Tink at soccer (usually a bit late). Pixie and I head straight to dancing for boot-camp yoga (me) and hip hop (Pixie). By the time they have afternoon tea, and I try and have a job for them to do (parenting tip of the day: buying cards is an awesome job if you need them to go somewhere for 20 minutes), it usually works out ok.

The week in question was one of those weeks.

Pixie decided to her home work in the car on the way home. Please note I did tell her maybe it would be better done at home, but my suggestion was ignored.

I was trying to explain the concepts of adding negative numbers.

I was failing.

Pixie: I don't know why I have to learn this anyway. I will never use it in real life.
Me: What did your teacher say about that?
Pixie: She said we have to learn it because it is in the curriculum.
Me: You have these conversations a lot don't you?
Pixie: Yes.
Me: Well, there you go then. Plus you never know when you do need to know things like this.
Pixie *grumpily*: I don't want my life to be ruled by negatives.

She has a point. I do try to concentrate on the positives, but this wasn't exactly what I meant.

Tink took pity on me at this point and explained to Pixie how to do it.

Tink got her to understand it about 30 seconds.

It is probably a good thing I decided not to be a teacher. I have I mentioned my subject is History, not Maths?

Some days, this is how I do it.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering about Buglet, she goes home has a quiet afternoon and cooks dinner.

Manic Monday (aka Part 1 of 'This is how I do it')

As someone who balances work, paid and unpaid, family and study if I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say "I don't know how you do it" I would be very rich and could possibly retire. I would also be very rich if I had a dollar for every time I had heard "starting them young", but that is a whole other blog post.

I got an email from my lecturer  today saying how close we were to finishing. This would have been much more encouraging if she hadn't have listed all the things we have left to do, but it is still nice that she cares.

As after an adult life time of being asked how I do it, and never having a good answer except "caffeine, napping and an amazing disregard for housework", I decided I would actually write down how I do it. To be fair, "caffeine, napping and an amazing disregard for housework" does help significantly, but it does take a little more than that. One day I might need to prove to the girls how impressive I was, and how much I am here when they complain about absent parenting (so far so good as previous posts will show). I am also thinking that writing it down will serve as a reminder about how hard it is, so I don't go back to study before the girls are self-sufficient. Don't worry, I will spread this out over the next few weeks, so you aren't all totally bored.

Mornings
Today my alarm was set for 5.30am, I had intended to get to work early. Not to mention Monday is supposed to be one of my dog walking mornings and I am supposed to get up at 5am, but I was up late last night, I need some sleep, my back hurts I am great at making excuses ..... This would be more convincing if I hadn't had spent the snooze time contemplating how I feel like I've had more sleep if I wake up around the 2am mark (not unusual for me), because if I go back to sleep easily it feels like I've had two nights sleep. Early morning musings don't actually have to make sense.

I actually got up at 6.15am and ran around frantically.

Wins: having change for the girls to donate to some thing at school, having my clothes ready the night before, and remembering to have breakfast (I do try and eat breakfast at home to set a good example).

Fails: Not remembering what it is the girls are donating money towards, Tink telling me she needed money for the train home as I ran out the door (thanks to my mother for sorting this one), and being yelled at by the Pixie for being grumpy at her when she wouldn't get out of bed.

Could go either way: Not getting a seat on the train. Winning 'cos it means I can read a fun book; failing 'cos I can't study (personally I count this as a win because I have a bad attitude towards study).

The Day
I made it to work by 7:30am. This is a massive bonus because it is my busiest time of the year.

Wins: Remembering to buy white out after Pixie put a reminder in my phone. Organising lunch with a girlfriend next week, getting a whole agenda drafted. Sorting out for the big two to go on camp during the school holidays. Remembering to text a few people about random things. Leaving the office at 5.40pm and making it to the train on time.

Fails: A panicked phone call to Mum when I realised I hadn't heard from either her or the girls after school today. The number of phone calls I have to make tomorrow. Forgetting to do some Guide stuff. Stuffing my friend around working out a day I could do lunch.

The Entourage after school
On Mondays Mum picks the girls up from school and another friend who lives near us to ferry them all to confirmation classes (well except the Pixie, Mum drops her off at my sister's house). I don't feel too bad about this one, partly because Mum offered, and partly because it is as important to her as it is to me that the girls get this opportunity. Plus she is driving someone else too, and I get them all home. Mum drops them at one train station, and I meet them at another.

I love my train trips home. It is the quiet zone where I transit from work-mode to home-mode and gives me very precious reading time. I don't study on the trip home so it is always fun reading time, and reading is one of the things that makes me happiest.

Wins: Waiting at the train station to meet the Entourage plus one. Not traumatising our Monday passenger  too much (he puts up with the girls quite well!). Being at the right train station (Monday is the only day I use this train line).

Evenings
I drop Buglet at her dance class, our passenger at his house, then bring my little two home. About an hour of driving gives us lots of catching up time which is sometimes nice, sometimes tiring, but it does make me feel like I am not missing out on so much! Mum feeds the children so I have a very lazy dinner (toast tonight, please don't judge me - I made sure I had a very big lunch), do some housework (I use this term loosely, but I usually get something done), shower, discuss homework and school and all those sorts of things, and pick the Buglet up at 8.30pm. Family rule is if I have to pick them up after 8pm from an activity, I get to wear pyjamas. I am the mother, I get to make the rules. I try to get there in time to watch her Buglet's last 20 minutes, and the trip home is a good chance to just talk to her. Luckily Monday night seems to have reality tv shows on which I do not like, but the girls do. This means the little two are happy, and I don't feel bad when I am doing other things.

Conversations today include Tink's badly studded leg from her soccer game yesterday, Pixie having a "man" vein in her foot (shaped like a man, not looking like it belongs to a man, it took me a while to work this out), our costumes and food and activities for Guides on Wednesdays, the fact Pixie is playing in a school sports carnival tomorrow which I am not 100% sure I knew about and which does mean I have to reorganise my usual Tuesday plans. Bonus is I will get a bit of a bit of a sleep in tomorrow!

Pick up the Buglet and shoo them all off to bed. Some nights I do housework, some nights I study, some nights I curl up on the couch to read.

Evenings all get thrown into chaos the one Monday a month I have a Guide meeting after work. An adult type Guide meeting where we do the behinds the scenes stuff for the state, not the fun unit stuff. Those nights I am very nice to Apple who usually fills in the parenting blank for me.

Tonight I have blogged (clearly!) and studied. I will be in bed by 10:30pm tonight! Tonight I am just tired.

Fail: having an assignment due on Friday, reorganising plans.

Win: Pyjamas, cuddles, Tink bringing me home muffins she made at school, and studying is much more fun with a cool pen.

Hope you all had a happy and productive Monday xxx