Dancing Divas

Beginning of 2007 I got a flyer in my letterbox, and I picked up the phone to make a call. Little did I know that that flyer would change my life forever. This might sound a little dramatic, but it is true!

I made the call. What sold me on the dance school was when I asked about how they dressed the girls for concerts (the word "prostitute" may have been used) the teacher new exactly what I meant, and reassured me that the costumes used were all age appropriate.

A week later all three girls started in the same class.

A term later, Buglet moved up a class, and the Pixie tried a shorter class.

8 years, three studios, two name changes, and countless hours of dancing later we are still there, Buglet is a student assistant teacher, and we still love the studio. The teacher kept her word. I was cursing her this year for the amount of accessories involved in the costumes (I was in charge of the quick change room) but her costumes have remained age appropriate.

Buglet wanted to do dancing, and I thought it would improve their confidence and hopefully help them be more coordinated than me. It never crossed my minds that they would actually be good at dancing. Turns out that they are good.

The teachers are so much fun and the atmosphere is so lovely that even I have given a few classes a go! I tried tap for the first time two years ago and it was so much fun. I love the clip-clop of tap shoes. I totally suck at it. Buglet is in the adult tap class now and she thinks I should come back and do it with her. "It will be fun Mum. You can stand behind me so you have someone to copy and then we can practise together at home". I suspect if I take her up on this offer the in-house tutoring there will be a lot of stress involved for me.

So there you go. I have traveled a path that I never meant to start on.

The fun and the glamour ......

Things I have learnt about being a Dance Mum:

• Find a studio where you love the atmosphere. You will be spending a lot of time there.
• Label everything.
• Help where you are able to help. It is fun being a part of the team.
• Smile.
• It doesn't matter if you stuff up, just keep doing your best.
• Develop a hobby that you can do while sitting and watching for hours. I knit teddies. One year I ended up with my own mini-craft group going with some of the sisters of girls in Buglet's class.
• Deal with the fact that your children may develop skills you can never hope to gain.
• If they have adult classes. Give them a go! It might be fun. And it is setting your children a good example.
• You can tape your boobs to hold them in place. You may tear skin when you take the tape off. I have not tried this, but I have seen the evidence.
• There are many types of dance stocking.
• Do not cover yourself in glitter the weekend before important meetings at work. You may not be able to avoid incidental glitter, but self-applied glitter should be carefully thought out.
• If you find the right place, it isn't just your dance school, it is your dance family.

.... and the hours of hard work.

Things the girls have learnt from being dancers:

• Confidence.
• Dedication.
• Hard work.
• Fitness.
• Decision making and impact of your actions.*
• Strength. Of personality as much as body.
• Team-work.
• Fun.

*Buglet has had to make big decisions after (non-dancing) injuries. Including deciding not to dance last year, and not dancing on pointe this year. When she couldn't dance I was so proud of her for instantly volunteering to help back stage. She's also danced in a concert with a broken tail bone (Doctor said it wouldn't make it worse, I did check!). Buglet has also sat through many classes learning by watching when injury has meant she can't dance.

The big thing I learnt this year was that being Buglet's mummy gave me lots of "street" cred with the Tiny Tots. Somehow I managed to end up dealing with several of them backstage at concert. A "do you know Buglet? Well, I am her Mummy" seemed to mean that I was instantly trusted. Yep. I feel a milestone has been reached, I am just not sure what one.

Disclaimer:

• I am definitely not qualified to give medical, fitness or dance advice.
• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Running away from home

Ok, so when you put it like that it doesn't sound very grown up, but last weekend that is exactly what I did. A long awaited trip with one of my best friends, where we abandoned our children (and by abandoned we left them safely in the care of the fathers and other caring family members - thanks Apple!), and spent a weekend in Bali.

I left my phone in my room during the day and I didn't log on to my work emails at all while I was out of the country, and I only answered one parenting question and one Guiding question. We swam, we wandered, we dreamed, we drank, we slept, we read, and we developed some exciting new goals and plans.

There will definitely be more on the exciting new plans later. This is what my blog is for right? To share my random ramblings with you all under the guise of writing about my children?!

Speaking of my children, my super awesome girls all thought I was very in need of a holiday, and that me going away was a good thing. I only had contact with each of them once while I was away. I missed them so much it hurt, but I know the independence is a good thing for them. (Mothers of older children: does the mother-guilt ever go away? Or the longing to hold them tight?).

The morning I left was a bit horrific. Lots of teenage hormonal squabbling, which lead to this wonderful quote which I am treasuring to get me through the rest of the teenage years ...

Me: Girls! Stop fighting. Seriously! I am not going to see you again until Monday, and I don't want to spend my last hour with you telling you off!
Pixie (surprised): I wasn't fighting. If we were fighting I would have used better arguments.

The fighting did reduce the mother-guilt a bit. There has to be a silver lining to every cloud.

Pixe rang me at the airport before I left though  ...

Pixie: Mama! Can I please have the Twisties in the cupboard?
Me: Sure. Ah. You know I am on holidays, not at work, right?
Pixie (excited): Oh yeah! Are you in Bali?
Me: No. I am at the airport.
Pixie: Take an airport selfie! Take lots of selfies!

I posted a picture of a selfie on facebook immediately as instructed, and asked Tink to make sure the Pixie saw. See what a good mother I am? (You can also see in the picture how exhausted I am).

Ah. Yes. I did buy a new book before I left the country. The first thing I bought in Bali was also books.
 

Have I mentioned that I love books? Super excited about 'Shopoholic to the Stars' because I had somehow missed the fact it had been published. Awesome airport find.

But I digress ...

Tink messaged me to say :
"hey mum i hope your holiday is good
i have a bit of a problem
i have needles on monday/or tuesday (i cant remember which) and i havent had my last lot. will that matter".

You will be pleased to know I did actually have it sorted. It just didn't occur to me it was something she would have thought about. I should have known better.

Giving myself bonus points for the fact I had it sorted, and that Tink is so super organised.

Losing points because of Tink's appalling writing style. It makes me sad. And I know she has freedom to express herself in the way she chooses to write, but capitals would make me happier!

Buglet politely asked me if I was having a good time, and asked how I was going on the hunt for a present that she was particularly hoping to get. Teenagers talking to you is always a positive!

Yes, I was having a good time. I loved these teal nails, and the pool, and lying reading.

People who know me, or who have been reading this blog, know that I have a total caffeine addiction.

I did not miss it at all while I was away. I literally had one small coffee per day because it came with breakfast.

Coffee and apple guava juice

I took the little two shopping the night I got home; nothing major, just grocery shopping. Within 15 minutes Pixie was saying "You looked stressled Mama. Look there is a V. You should have a V, that will make you feel better". Is it unfair to place the blame for my addiction on their high energy levels, and to call the Pixie my enabler?

On a serious note I am detoxing. I do have way to much caffeine and I know it is not good for me on lots of levels.

I came home feeling amazing for a whole heap of reasons. If you had asked me before I had left, I would have told you that it had been a horrific week at work, but that I was happy and healthy and in a really good place. All of that was true, but I feel a million times more fabulous since being away.

Happy relaxed me in my awesome hat. I thought the girls would hate my hat, but they all tried to claim it.

So now I am home. Happy and excited. Ready for what the world throws at me next*, and super excited about the next exciting adventures that are currently being planned (just in case you have forgotten about that teaser from the first part of this blog). And yes there will be more on the actual trip itself, but that will have to wait for a different day. I want to tell you about my spiderman-monkey-bells.

*Dear World,
This is not actually a challenge.
Thanks.
Cath

Where unsolicited advice is given .....

Hello blogworld.

I have been asked a lot in the last 12 months "what are you going to do with all your free time?" once all my study was complete. My standard answer has been "catch up on 6 years of housework". Turns out I was right. (This may be the only thing I get right in this post). Bonus.

Instead of spending weekends and nights at the computer procrastinating from studying, I have been renovating my bedroom and doing lots outside. Pictures of my bedroom when I have finished ... but now ... by special request ... the blog where I give advice not only on handy home hints but also beauty tips and parenting.

1. Furniture restoration

Step 1
Have pre-made window seat that your ex-husband made for you and promised to stain 7 years ago.

(In this case he broke it in the 30 minutes he spent dropping the children off after a weekend down South, after I spent a weekend catching up on 6 years of spring cleaning of my bedroom and then I had to wait 2 weeks for him to fix it).

Ok, so your furniture does not need to be acquired in this manner, but that is the story of my window seat and bookcase.

Before restoration, but after being broken.

Step 2
Go to hardware store of choice (I like Bunnings but I suspect this has more to do with a love of sausage sizzles rather than any informed decisions) and buy stain in appropriate colour. Spend ages reading instructions. I cleverly decided to go with a stain and varnish so I didn't have to do both. I accidentally got oil based instead of water based though which was annoying.

Step 3
Follow steps on the can.

Step 4
Realise that the following things were not included on the can, but would have been useful:

• Open the windows first;
• Start from the back rather than the front if you don't want to get your clothes dirty;
• If you ignore tip two it is probably best to do it naked; and
• It is even more fun than painting.

Step 5
Spend rest of week trying to get wood stain off yourself (see Beauty Tips below).

Step 6
Wait (im)patiently for ex-husband to visit and fix the seat he broke while collecting his children (Thanks DB).

Step 7
Get home and realise that he fixed the window seat but didn't put the bookcase back in. Refuse to wait any longer and make your children help you move furniture before they go to bed. They are teenagers, they spend all night up reading anyway.

All stained and back in place.



2. Beauty tips for the professional look
If you read my tips on furniture restoration above, you would have seen that not only did I get myself covered in wood stain, it was oil based. Let's just say that five days later I am still covered in marks which look like they may be bruises or dirt, but are actually stains from the varnish.

Some are actually bruises.

Clearly the number one suggestion would just be to be careful but if like me this is not likely to happen, the suggestion has been made that you should pick your stain in the colour you would like to be and instead of applying fake tan you can use the woodstain and accomplish it all in one hit. While I haven't attempted this myself, I would always recommend following the suggestions on the packet.

Other useful tips include stockings, pants and long sleeved jackets for covering up stains, nail polish remover for clean nails, and being prepared to answer the questions about "what on earth were you doing on the weekend?".

3. Gardening tips (with bonus suggestions on parenting)

 

This used to be waist height weeds

This weekend was dedicated to gardening.

This involved bribing my actually useful teenage daughters and by giving them very specific jobs that needed to be done. In their defence, Buglet and Tink worked very hard and did what I asked them to do.

Mount Mulchmore

Pixie tried very hard, but needed lots of reminders that we were gardening and not just posing for pictures.

Parenting tip of the day is get them to do something, be specific and say thank you. And be thankful that you have teenagers who will still talk to you for an hour or two and will be helpful without excessive complaining. Then adopt some nice younger children to help you and who will actually think it is fun. My lovely gardening elf and my gardening fairy (from across the road) helped me all of both days and were super enthusiastic. They also looked after Flip-Flop.

In addition to the woodstain and bruises, I am also covered in scratches from gardening. I am wondering if gloves might have helped.

Stay tuned for next week when I will give more household tips.


Disclaimer:

• I am not qualified to give gardening or beauty or any other household advice. Follow my suggestions at your own risk.
• It is doubtful I am qualified to give parenting advice, there is still time for me to stuff up.
• I am not even allowed to give legal advice without supervision.

I would recommend finding more reliable sources for any advice of any nature.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
Blues gonna win there's no doubt about it!

Conveniently they did or I would have had to think of a new title to today's post. This was also the source of much parental fail as both DB and I missed seeing the Pixie accept the shield as a faction caption.

Obviously it is about doing your best and having fun, this just happens to be my favourite chant from when I was a very enthusiastic cheerer at school sports days. So enthusiastic that I was awarded the Sportsmanship Award one year despite having no athletic ability whatsoever.

This year was my last ever primary school sports day as a parent. I was a bit worried that I might not be able to attend due to work commitments. The Pixie's response? "That is ok, its going to be boring anyway". Humph. Luckily I was able to go, and Pixie woke up on the morning of the sports carnival with "Mama! It's today? Are you excited?". This is much better! She also gave me a cuddle make sure that wasn't too sad. She has been told before that she is not allowed to ruin my being sad moments because they are getting too big. That is a parent's privilege.

The night before her enthusiasm levels were up. She messaged DB to make sure that he understood how these things worked.

Pixie: Remember I'm in blue faction so don't come in green red or gold Pixie G
DB: Ok green it is
Pixie: Dad! BLUE

He obviously teased her enough she was concerned about me.

Pixie: Do you want me to paint your nails? *looks at my fake nails in disgust* I can't paint those.
Me: You can paint my toenails?...
Pixie: Will you wear thongs?
Me: No.
Pixie: You can wear blue eyeshadow instead.

Sports carnivals are important. But I would like it on the record that I have never missed a sports carnival and I have always worn blue! DB on the other hand struggles a little. I blame him and his mostly blue Hawaiian shirt for the big girls banning me from the high school sports day. According to Buglet I am only allowed to go if I have a baby to bring and be cute. I don't want to go enough to have another baby.

We take faction colours seriously

While the important bit for the kids is that they are out there and having fun, the important bit for me as a parent is that is the one day of school year I have always been there for. I am there. I cheer enthusiastically (too enthusiastically if you ask the girls). I take pictures. To me this was particularly important when all three of them were at the school. I got to be there for all of them which was nice.

When they were little I somehow managed to be the parent-most-in-charge-of-walking-children-to-the-bathroom. The last few years it has been my annual day for assisting the P&C; I help on the sausage sizzle. It would not be far from the truth to say years of Guiding has helped with both these contributions!

I do appreciate that one day isn't much contribution to the amazing work that the P&C does. But it makes me feel slightly better. Other selfish bonuses: it gives me something to do when Pixie isn't doing anything; Pixie doesn't want to talk to me anyway she just wants me there; it means I don't have to listen to DB complaining about being bored or about Pixie not wanting to talk to him or me not wanting to talk to him. Joys of teenager(ish) people! Moral of the story: Everyone should help the P&C.

Another annual tradition is Pixie getting Subway as my vegetarian baby doesn't eat sausage sizzles. I know I've posted this on facebook, but it still makes me laugh too much not to share again.

Me: I will drop you at school and then go to Subway. What would you like?
Pixie: Capsicum, tomato, lettuce, carrot, cheese. I wrote it down but I lost it.
Me: Is there anything you don't like?
Pixie: Figs.
Me: I don't think they have figs.
Pixie: You didn't say that. You said "is there anything you don't like" and I don't like figs.
Me: Have you ever had a fig?
Pixie: No. But I don't like them.

Sports carnivals also gave me one of my most valuable parenting lessons: Doesn't matter what you are there for, they will always remember the thing you missed. Deal with it.

I may still remember the fact my mum missed the time my sisters, best friend, and I won the Year 7 relay even though our team was made up of two year 7 students, 1 year 6 and a Year 4. That moment across the finish line was brilliant.

Officially, the end of another era.

The pit falls of puppies

Firstly, a quick re-cap. In case you missed my earlier posts, Flip-Flop is the girls' puppy. Not mine. This is particularly handy when it comes to certain things, like me not having to clean up her mess. It would be even handier if she realised this and didn't try to sit on my lap when I was studying, or blogging (Like now. Flip-Flop sends big slobbery kisses to you all).

She had a big sulk this week when I wouldn't talk to her when I was finishing an assignment.

"Fine. If study is more important to you than me, I will destroy these curly things. So there."

I feel so strongly about her being the girls' dog, that I almost woke Pixie up to tell her to clean up her dog's mess in my bedroom the other night.

Pixie has asked me before why Flip-Flop is her puppy when I am mad at her. Tink pointed out that I say the same thing to their father about them when I am not happy. See? I don't play favourites.

I have known a few people who have got pets to practice before they had children. I never did this. Partly because I was 18 when I was pregnant with Buglet, partly because I never actually thought of it. Plus when I was 17 I acquired a 4 year old sister and an 18 month old sister. Clearly this didn't deter me from being a young mum so I doubt a pet would have.

However, I have finally worked out why it might be considered practice.

Tuesday night Flip-Flop got me up at least once every hour being upset by the storms. Also the Pixie woke me up when she came into bed with me, then woke me up again to swap sides.

Wednesday night Flip-Flop woke me up to be let outside. Then got distracted and ran down the road. Then came back inside. Then realised she hadn't actually been to the toilet. Then was super excited to see me. Then Pixie yelled at me for waking her up yelling at Flip-Flop. Then Pixie yelled at me in the morning for not letting Flip-Flop go sniffing down the street in case she'd been following the rabbit's trail (Our rabbit has escaped. A storm casualty). Apparently the fact it was 1am, I was in my pyjamas, and it was raining is not a good enough excuse.

I now get why pets are good practice for babies, or toddlers. I was standing there trying to reason with a dog in the middle of the night. I have been well and truly reminded about some of the positives to my baby and toddler days being over. Two nights of broken sleep have been rough! This is the reason for no blog posts. I have been too tired when I have made it home. I had forgotten what it was like, and have no idea how I managed for 6 years without sleep.

I suspect I am going to be a very slack grandmother.

Just in case you are in any doubt about how much I love the puppy, my favourite thing to do at the moment is to make her rush past the girls to say hello to me. This annoys them a lot. Just saying.

I also suspect I am a mean mother.

The puppy loves me though. She comes to "kiss" me goodnight. It took me a few nights to realise that is what she's doing, but she comes and nuzzles me before she goes to bed. Just like the girls. I blame the Pixie for teaching her to "kiss" people. This is much nicer after the first few times when I dragged my butt out of bed to let her outside, only to be given the "Huh? What are you doing?" look. She really is like the girls. They do that a lot too. None of this is helping with the campaign to get another dog.

It's all in the socks

My name is Catherine and my children don't wear matching socks.

There I have said it.

This is mostly because I am too lazy to match their socks. Life is too short. This is my excuse and I am sticking to it. This does not affect my life, but it does surprise me that other people find this so traumatising.

I am not against matching socks. My socks always match. I  don't like wearing mismatching socks, they feel funny. But if the girls can't be bothered wearing matching socks, that is their choice. Unless it is ANZAC Day (or other important Guide occasion), or school photo day then I do insist on them. Ok there may be a few other times, but I can't think of any at the moment.

This has had some side effects:

1. They also don't wear matching ear-rings (this is a plus: lost ear-rings don't matter in our house unless they are mine. I get upset);
2. The Pixie has argued with Guide leaders about whether it meets uniform standards if both socks were white but clearly not matching (it wasn't an important occasion);
3. When I do want them to wear matching socks I pretty much always have to buy more socks; and
4. The Pixie once got a 'Shining Star' certificate because it was the first time the teacher had seen her wearing matching socks (she told me afterwards they weren't actually matching but she didn't want to disappoint him).

An occasion where the girls were all randomly wearing matching socks.
They insisted I took a photo.
 

This post was inspired by an awesome article I read the other day about a Dad's point of view on his son wearing dresses. To me, this is parenting at its finest. He thinks about what he wants to teach his kids, and overcomes his own discomfort about the judgment from people who don't matter anyway. (Some of the comments by readers distressed me from the point of view that we still have so far to go in equal treatment of the sexes, but that is a whole other post).

My girls have dressed themselves, and picked their own clothes, from the time they were tiny. There were rules. It had to be weather appropriate. Some days Mummy got a say so if you wanted that top it meant one of these bottoms and vice versa. Some days what Mummy said wasn't negotiable, but most days they got to pick their own. This meant that when I did want a final say there was very little argument, because it wasn't normally an issue.

Buglet was given two silky nighties for her second birthday. Buglet loved silky things. She was particularly impressed by this present. So impressed that she insisted on wearing one of them pretty much every day over her clothes. Some people were horrified. I still don't get it.

Once Tink decided to dress herself she decided she was going to do it well. Properly meant as many clothes as was deemed appropriate by Tink. She did not consider herself properly dressed unless she was wearing leggings, skirt, t-shirt, dress and a jumper (for example, but always something along those lines). When you are good at something, you should do it to the best of your ability. Tink was about 20 months when she mastered this skill.

A little bit later Tink developed her own theories on what "matched". There was one particular occasion where she was wearing a pink and purple stripy top, black and white stripy leggings, and two different stripy socks. Tink's version was that they clearly went together because they were all stripy.

Tink's school photo from Kindy features her with her hair ribbons undone. I had gone out and bought the girls new ribbons for their school photos. Tink was adamant that they were prettier undone flowing with her pig-tails. That was 9 years ago and I still smile every time I look at that photo. It is a real snap shot of my Tink.

Why does this matter? Honestly, despite what some people think, it doesn't. If it makes you and your family happy, and it isn't hurting anyone, it is the right decision for you. This goes for either point of view.

For me, I think that giving the girls the freedom to express themselves (with some guidance) when they were little, has given them confidence to express themselves now. Even now, I bite my tongue (most times) if they are wearing something that I just don't like. What it has also meant is that if I say they are not to wear something because I think it is inappropriate, they mostly listen. I am a little bit proud of myself for having a 15 year old who accepts my "rules" when it comes to some types of clothing and will get changed if I tell her to. I am more proud of the fact that most of the time they dress appropriately for their age and for the occasion. I am super proud of them for dressing to please themselves and in what makes them comfortable. Confidence in themselves and comfortable with how they look, isn't that what we want for our children?

Disclaimer

1. The big two might actually wear matching socks more often than not now, I haven't noticed for a while.
2. I am actually wearing one pink and one purple bed sock. I bought a set of two pairs, but I can only find one of each colour. I blame the children.